Persistence - A man's greatest weapon

There is no doubt that a man's greatest weapon when wooing a woman is persistence  This magical quality can work at any level of the relationship, but it is especially important at the very beginning.

The graph above shows the chances of scoring with a woman that a guy meets on a typical night out**. After initial contact (assuming he makes the first move), the woman will be somewhat wary and chances of success are generally quite low. If the man proves himself/fools her sufficiently and manages to wrangle an invitation to join/meet the woman in a night club, his chances are significantly improved.

If he persists in the club, even if she disappears for long stretches e.g. dancing with her friends, then he has a great chance come the end of the night. Often it will be harder for the woman at this stage to escape the man's evil clutches without succumbing in some manner. In addition, she is more likely to have a significant amount of alcohol on board at this point, lowering any inhibitions she might have.

If the group makes the next traditional pit stop on the night out (the fast food outlet) and the persistent man is still in tow, he stands an excellent chance of scoring. It is vital that he stays the distance in this phase however. At the end of the chip shop sojourn, the woman will subconsciously be thinking that he has seen her under the glaring lights, all sweaty and with running make up etc. and he still likes her. The man might be best advised to have the beer goggles on at this juncture.

Finally, if he still hasn't scored at this stage, then his final chance is to inveigle himself into the taxi home (even if he lives in the completely opposite direction). If he's allowed to do so, he's bound to be in there as almost all uninterested women would not allow that scenario to develop!

Persistence pays - hanging in there until the bitter end does pay off! Patience is a virtue after all!

**A typical night out where I'm from!

Male hygiene - marrying

Following on from the previous post, may the force be with you ladies, if you decide to marry your man!

He will be deep in the comfort zone with you, so as far as he's concerned, anything goes. The deal has been done - you can hardly file for divorce over excessive farting or dirty kacks! Therefore, the slope of this graph is more severe after the tipping point!

You have been warned!

Male hygiene - cohabiting

It is well known that a man is on his best behaviour during the early days of a romance. He dutifully turns up on time, makes no references to porno, doesn't burp/belch/fart and actually makes an effort to keep clean.

Make the most of these halcyon days, ladies, because unfortunately, they will not last. As you and he get comfortable with each other, there will be a slow but inexorable regression to his normal behaviour. Showers/shaves will be missed, socks/jocks worn for longer than medically recommended and the aftershave will be put back in the box for special occasions!

If your relationship progresses to the living together phase, prepare for a sharper deterioration in hygiene than hitherto experienced. He will be well into the comfort zone with you, so he can relax significantly. He can't relax completely though, as there is no binding contract as yet!

God help you if you get married.......

Anyone home, McFly?!

The brain is a mysterious organ! If an ordinary Joe like me comes out with a cheesy line, I get nowhere. But if a handsome devil comes out with exactly the same spiel, it's lapped up by the woman. Why is this? I'm no shrink, but deep down the woman wants to believe that this fine specimen of hunkiness really means what he says. He does like me and someday will want to have beautiful, intelligent babies with me and live happily ever after!

It's similar the other way around, although for very different reasons. When a good looking woman starts talking, men begin thinking with a different part of their anatomy! The better looking the lady, the less logic that is involved in his decision making. A man will agree with almost anything if there is a chance of some action!

As the graph above shows, the better looking the talker, the more likely his/her hokum will be believed. This is why the best players (con artists, womanisers etc) tend to be attractive!

Female satisfaction with her partner

When a woman meets a perspective mate, he is only a pale shadow of the man he could be! He is only 60-70% complete at best and she sees him as putty in her hands, ready to be sculpted into her Mr. Right. The first part of this “androforming process” is the haircut (point a above) - it will be styled/gelled/shaved/parted to her exact specification.

Next (point b above), his wardrobe will be completely overhauled. She may begin the process by bringing an outfit home saying "I just happened to be in a man's clothes shop and thought you'd look good in this......". Then she may bring him shopping and force him to suffer the indignity of being ordered to try on numerous outfits in shop after shop after shop. In all likelihood, he will double the total amount of time he has spent clothes shopping in that day alone.

Once the trivialities have been taken care of, obviously his way of life must be addressed (points c and d above). Nights out with the lads will be strongly discouraged and non-approved hobbies must go. More appropriate home making activities will be introduced in their place.

Gradually over a period of time, the man will eventually become the man she always knew he could be. She can reflect on a job well done. He can't reflect unless she says he can!!

Male satisfaction with his partner

When a man starts going out with a woman, it's usually because she already is the real deal in the personality and looks departments as far as he's concerned. The only outstanding issue is if she will indulge in his sexual predilection(s), no matter how mild or wild it/they may be. If so, then she's perfect!

The problem, of course, is broaching the subject with your new squeeze. This difficulty is proportional to the perversity of the said predilection(s) and may push point a, the point where a successful broaching takes place, out in time.

How do you stop a woman.....

......giving you oral sex? Marry her! Oh yes, the old ones are the best! Let's face it - there is hardly a man alive that doesn't like receiving this. The problem is that a lot of women don't particularly care for it. If some women partake in this endeavour at all, it is just to humour their beaus until there are rings on fingers. As the chart above shows, they can then stop using mouthwash! Of course, stopping will also lead to frustration on his part, so be careful ladies - it may be a, err, bitter pill to swallow, but it could be the lesser of two evils!