Every Nice Guy Has His Day....Eventually!

Some time ago, I wrote about the trials and tribulations of nice guys in the dating game and how they can increase their chances of success. Since then, I've gotten a little older (and hopefully wiser!) and I've noticed an interesting trend in the dynamic between the nice guy and the target(s) of his affection.

As a nice guy in your twenties, you're basically hosed; the women you meet hold all the cards and they know they do. Most of them figure they don't have to date you because someone better/more exciting/hunkier is just around the corner. Let's face it, they are probably right, but it still sucks, as our American brethren say. As noted before, to add insult to injury, they often want to keep you as a friend and perhaps even cry on your shoulder about the obvious asswipes they are dating. Yes, just what you wanted!

However if you manage to evade capture until your thirties (and beyond!), you will begin to notice a very welcome, if belated, change. While you were the desperate one in your twenties, frantically searching for someone who would take you, as you get older you will find yourself having an increasing say in the destiny of any relationship you enter into. This is shown in the graph above, which shows the balance of power shifting from about the early thirties on.

Any woman of a similar vintage to yourself still single in her thirties simply can not afford to be as picky as she once was. Her chances of meeting anyone will have severely decreased as couples pair off, leaving her with less friends to socialise with and less suitable men to meet when she does go out. While the Internet has improved things in this regard, it won't stop the gradual panic (that she has missed her chance, that there are no good men left and that she will die a lonely spinster with just her cat(s) for company) from setting in. This is brilliant for you, the ageing and terminally nice guy. You can finally come into your own and experience what it feels like to call the shots in a relationship!

Granted, your choice of baggage-free contemporaries isn't as wide as it was either, but being a man, at least women five or ten years younger are now on the radar (without fear of being arrested!). This in turn forces women your own age to look increasingly upwards for possible partners, which makes you an even better catch for them! Talk about a confluence of positive factors! A nice guy at this stage is manna from heaven for a woman, who is looking for solid, settling down material, not the bad boy party animal she may have preferred in her younger days. Better late than never, I suppose!

However, you have to be careful, because when a woman of a certain vintage lands what she perceives as one of the last of the good guys, she can get clingy very easily, something you may not have much previous experience of. Also, no matter how tempting, you should not abuse this new found power by trying to exact revenge for all your past rejections. Nor should you settle because of social or family pressure. Just because you finally  meet a woman who gives you the time of day, doesn't mean you have to settle down with her! No sooner have one set of problems disappeared than another appear in their place!

The 7 Stages of Searching for Mr/Ms Right

Finding that special someone is harder for some people than others. The chart above shows the seven stages of searching for a life partner. While there are people who get married at 16 and others who tie the knot at 99, most people fall into a general pattern. For simplicity, I assume the search starts at 18 and continues until you find someone or you keel over! The seven stages are:

1. Nonchalance: This stage lasts from the age of 18 to the age of about 25. You're young and carefree and just want to have a good time with your friends. The last thing on your mind is settling down; the world is your oyster after all!
2. Optimism: At or about the age of 25, most people begin to keep an eye out for a potential partner. While the partying may not stop, the motives for going out gradually changes. You're young and vibrant - it can only be a matter of time before you meet someone, can't it?
3. Concern: As your single friends start to drop off like flies and you're still searching, the worrying starts. It starts as a slight nagging doubt, but as you approach 28-30 (women) or 30-33 (men), let the panic begin. Many of your friends' partners have tried setting you up, but there's still plenty of time and opportunity, right?
4. Desperation: If you're still single by 33-35 (women) or 35-38 (men), you're hit by a double whammy. Not alone are there fewer single people your age to choose from, you find it harder to meet the remaining ones. This leads to desperation creeping in as your biological clock starts ticking in earnest. Your supply of willing wingmen has dwindled to practically nothing, so unless you hit the Internet, it's harder to meet someone*.The pressure to find someone (almost anyone, as some of your family might think!) is intense as the spectre of enforced bachelorhood/spinsterhood looms large! This turns into a vicious cycle as the more desperate you become, the less appealing you are, which increases your desperation......
5. Resignation: As your milestone 40th birthday approaches and you're still on the lookout, you begin to resign yourself to the fact that eternal happiness is about to pass you by! You may even rationalise that you are happy focusing on your career or that you were destined for a higher purpose, neither of which keep you warm at night! However, the sad truth is that it's looking very likely that you're one of the unlucky few destined never to meet that special someone.
6. Acceptance: Shortly after the above stage, it's time to accept your cruel fate. It appears you are destined to roam the earth alone. If you're a woman, it's time to buy that cat if you haven't already done so!
7. Apathy: You've reached your early to mid 40s and realised that this true love malarkey was a pile of pants. You don't even bother to look any more, seldom going out as you're now the oldest swinger in town. You've even abandoned the minefield of Internet dating, even if it did allow you to meet ostensibly suitable people from the comfort of your own home. If it was true what they say about it happening when you least expect it, then no one would be single after the age of about 45!

Obviously, once you start looking, the earlier you find someone in the process the better. However, judging by the amount of married friends that seem to envy your freedom, losing out on true love might not be so bad after all!


*Men have it slightly easier as it's more socially acceptable to go for a younger woman. However, the rise of the cougar has redressed this inequality somewhat!

Text Maniacs

A couple of recent (and not altogether pleasant!) encounters with members of the opposite sex inspired the above graph, which shows the relationship between the number of text messages a person sends and how crazy s/he is!

At one end of the scale, you have the person who steadfastly refuses to send any texts at all, which is somewhat irrational in itself. However, it pales in comparison with the other extreme, where the incessant texter lurks. This behaviour is marked by the following characteristics:

• A non-stop stream of texts, many of an inane and/or incomprehensible nature.
• If a reply to any of their short electronic missives is not sent within 2 minutes, a torrent of texts is unleashed along the lines of "r u ok?" or "wats wrong, hun?". Note to psycho texters: NOTHING IS WRONG - LEAVE ME ALONE FOR GOD'S SAKE, I'M TRYING TO RELAX/WATCH TV/HAVE A LIFE!!!
• Once you realise you're corresponding with a nutbar and try to withdraw, cue the "psycho cycle of texts". Even after making it clear that you want no further contact, this cycle starts with old chestnuts like "r u ok?" or "how r u?", moves on to the abusive, e.g. "F@@k u, u b@@tard/B@tch" and followed by the begging/pathetic, e.g. "wat av I done?", "can we meet plz?" or perhaps some unintelligible gobbledygook. After a respite of say, 15 minutes (or an hour or two, if you're lucky!), your unhinged text buddy simply restarts the cycle, somehow expecting you to have forgotten the mental behaviour already exhibited (multiple times!).
  

The moral of the story? Be very careful to whom you give your mobile phone number! Note that even a joke condition like "Promise not to text me more than 200 times a day?" does not work! The best way to deal with this unsettling situation is to ignore the texts in the hope that the message finally sinks in. Do NOT engage the deluded at any cost as this only gives them licence to continue the harassment. In the likely event of ignoring them failing, getting their number blocked or reporting them to the police are unfortunately your only options.

To prevent this situation from arising, it would be a very good idea to buy a disposable mobile phone (or SIM card) and use it to communicate with new amours. This is particularly good advice for those using Internet dating, where spotting psychos in time is much more difficult. That way, in the worst case scenario, you can simply dump the phone and not inconvenience yourself or the more normal people you’re in contact with!

Only he who dares, wins

As stated in a much earlier post, a man needs to be brave, to be proactive in his dating career. Well, assuming he wants a successful one, that is! For all their talk about equality, the majority of women still prefer a decisive man who takes the lead in such matters. After all, what woman really wants a wuss? So, to be a hit with the ladies, a guy really has to make a lot of early running.

However, as the graph above shows, in general the opposite is true for women who make "obvious" moves on men. While I would personally love it (if it ever bloody well happened to me!), many men feel emasculated when confronted with this gift horse and proceed to eyeball it in the oral cavity! This is akin to earning more than him, driving him around or being smarter or taller than him. These are all roles that men are conditioned from childhood to believe that they must fulfil in a relationship. Therefore, making an obvious move can backfire for a woman if the target is even the slightest bit insecure.

Usually, women get around this dilemma by using hints of varying degrees of subtlety to get the man to think that he in fact is making the decisive move!

Internet dating - avoiding a pig in a poke

As mentioned in the original post on Internet dating, chatting away to a potential date on the web can result in extreme disappointment. After prolonged bouts of exciting flirting, hours of playful banter and many deep and meaningful conversations, the real life meeting eventually occurs. This can burst the romantic bubble as you didn't get what you were expecting, s/he wasn't as advertised or the real life sparks simply didn't fly.

As the graph above shows, the probability of disappointment is dependent on how familiar you were with how the person really looks before you met. This is particular true for men, the more visual of the species. If you have relied solely on the tapping of the keyboard for the virtual romance, the first real date is Russian Roulette, my friend! Marginally better is the old picture, which may have been taken many dinners ago.

Even a recent picture can be misleading, especially in the age of photo editing. Therefore, if possible you're best advised to see your cyber-date on web cam before committing to a real life romantic encounter. If you manage to see the object of your virtual affection in his/her birthday suit on cam and you're still disappointed on meeting, you've only yourself to blame!

Internet dating - enthuasism

OK, you're disillusioned with (or too busy for) traditional dating, so what do you do? Nowadays, you hit the Internet. Once you get over the fact that you're not a saddo for using it, you take to it with gusto. All these potential partners available from the comfort of your own home is amazing in the beginning. After a few weeks, you're flying and arranging dates left, right and centre.

However, it doesn't take long to realise that Internet dating is even worse than traditional pub/club dating. You never thought there could be so many perverts/married people/psychopaths/pathological liars concentrated in the one place. At least in the pub, they are in the minority! Then there's the complete lack of chemistry with the decent folk you meet online.

Therefore, you tend to get sick of Internet dating relatively quickly. It usually takes the order of several months as opposed to years for traditional dating.

Traditional dating - enthuasism

When you're let loose on the world in your late teens, you start off somewhat overawed and unsure with the pub/club scene. After a few months, you get into the swing of things and it all seems so exciting. You're fleeing the nest, spreading your wings and enjoying your new found independence. Nights out with the lads/girls are the highlight of your week and hopefully there's even fairly steady action.

Unfortunately, these halcyon days don't last forever. If you don't meet your dream partner within a few years, your friends certainly will. All of a sudden, there's no one to go with, and even if you did, the never ending trawl through the drunk, vacuous and the self absorbed for the special someone starts to lose its lustre. Thus, nights out start to get more desperate and depressing and you start looking for an alternative way to meet people. Unfortunately, nowadays, that means the Internet.

Move in mysterious ways

If there is one thing I've noticed during my long and unsuccessful career as a womaniser, it's that being an open book is very bad for business! Women seem to like a bit of intrigue, a splash of mystery, a smidgen of uncertainty. The does he/doesn't he, is he/isn't he element seems to psychologically keep them on the toes and add an aura of desirability around you. To be fair, it can also drive a man nuts when the woman he is pursuing is clouded in suspense.

It's vital to keep something in the locker until the object of your affection has developed some feelings for you. Becoming boring and predictable only works after that point!! As the graph above shows, the tighter you keep your cards to your chest and the more enigmatic you are, the more success you will have with the opposite sex. This may well help explain why James Bond is such a big hit with the ladies!

When to meet your Internet amour

Following on from a much earlier post on Internet dating, the above graph shows the optimum time for meeting someone off the Internet. While there is no hard and fast rule and it depends on the frequency and intensity of contact, it is generally a bad idea to meet someone too quickly. Women need to be extra careful in this regard from a security perspective, given the high number of weirdoes online. Equally importantly for men, it's best to time the time to establish via photographic evidence that she's a possible, due to the large number of mingers* on-line!!!

For reasons already outlined in the referenced post above, leaving it too long is also bad, as your expectations tend to lose the run of themselves! In extreme cases, a man may leave it so long that he even enters the dreaded friend zone. This is quite an achievement with a woman he hasn't even met!

So, when to take the plunge? It's generally the man that makes the move (although not as much as in "real life") and it's important to time it well. Too soon and you could give off the impression that you're a player or over anxious, which is never good with the opposite sex. Too long and they might think you're not interested. As shown in the graph above, the best time to "pounce" lies in the week to month range, depending on frequency of contact. The point to remember is don't force it. Wait until you get a sense of his/her personality (yes, guys, it does matter!) and it feels right to broach the subject of hooking up for a real date. If the opportunity doesn't arise in the first few weeks, try to subtlety guide the correspondence in that direction. If s/he doesn't bite, it might be best to move on as there are plenty of cyber-fish on the Internet!

*A minger is UK slang for someone not particularly blessed in the looks department!

Take care to be careless

Closely relating to the relaxation post, the graph above shows that the more you care about the other party, the less dating success you will have. This is particularly true for guys, but I believe it works both ways. There's something about a challenge that seems to get people's juices flowing.

When the pursuer or pursued seems to be keen this is often perceived as being a bit of a turn off. I suppose every good hunter enjoys the thrill of the chase before landing his or her prey! The prey also seems to enjoy outfoxing the hunter, throwing down multiple obstacles as challenges before deciding to be allowed to be caught or not.

While it's obviously very difficult to do with someone you are very attracted to, the best strategy with a potential new suitor/romantic target is to turn the nonchalance up to 11 and proceed from there!

Internet descriptions - male

Compared to women, men on the Internet can lie about just about everything. Nothing is sacred - their height, weight, age, looks, hair situation, marital status, complexion, build, financial status, occupation and just about any other trait you can think of. Everything is fluid and can be adapted to woo a particular Internet prey.

As the diagram above shows, it really is caveat emptor* for ladies on-line! Of course there are genuine and/or attractive blokes in cyberspace, but it's hard to find them, outnumbered as they are by the cowboys, chancers, perverts and married guys looking for "fun"!

Some people on the net are lucky that they aren't arrested for fraud! I don't know if the short, bald, fat, old guy thinks the woman won't notice when they finally meet that he isn't young, tall, dark and handsome as claimed. I guess there are insecurities there and the forlorn hope is that she might overlook the "little" lie and see the real man within.

Corny as it sounds, I think that honest really is the best policy on-line. What kind of relationship starts off with a lie? One that's trying to get someone into bed, perhaps! If it's a longer term arrangement that you're after, it's best to use a recent picture and a realistic self appraisal and let the chips fall where they may. After all, you do ultimately want a person to like you for the real you, not an idealised, fictitious version of you.

*Buyer beware!

Internet descriptions - female

Further to the post on Internet dating, unfortunately one really must take profiles on Internet dating sites, chat rooms, social networking sites, instant messaging systems and the like with a large pinch of salt. For men, this means adding about a stone (14 pounds or 6.4kgs) to a woman's claimed weight and usually downgrading their claimed appearance by about one notch. This leads to a lot of disappointment when meeting women off the Internet. Men tend to be shallow, visual creatures, after all.

This is displayed in the mapping diagram above. On the left hand side, the body mappings are shown. Let's face it - a lot of women tell porkies about their weight. Sure, there are gym buffed and honest ladies in cyberspace, but a lot of women seem to be misleading about their actual body type.

The right hand side of the diagram above shows the appearance mappings. Again, this tends to be exaggerated somewhat on profiles, so it's best to be sceptical. Again, occasionally you do see bona fide hot chicks on profiles, but by and large you'd have to question why they need to use the Internet at all. The answer, you'll find in most cases, is to lure you to their web site where they are waiting for you (or more specifically, your credit card!).

If they are over about 35, you might as well add about 5 years on to their purported ages for good measure! I've seen some very suspect "35" year old female profiles in my time, I can tell you! Or maybe I'm just ageing extremely well!

Whether it's self-delusion or deliberate obfuscation, it's never nice to be sold a bum steer! But however bad women may be on the honesty front, they pale in comparison to their male counterparts!

The probability of finding available women

The ladies have had their Reilly equation*. Now it's the guys' turn! The above graphic shows the Reilly equation for calculating the number of women that are available to you, the single (or cheating!) man. It takes important factors such as the population density of where you live, your personal characteristics and your stamina for playing the field into consideration.

Typical approximate values for the terms in the equation are:

R*=3,350,000,000 - half the world's population.
fa=0.0000149 - assuming you live in a city of 100,000 people, half of whom are female.
fo=0.20 - discount the too young, the too old, the happily married etc.
M= 0.6 - normalised to between 0.1 (no pot to piss in) and 1.0 (millionaire and above). 0.6 equates to doing all right for yourself.
C= 0.5 - normalised to between 0.1 (shrinking violet) and 0.9 (you da man). 0.5 equates to a happy medium between shy and cocky.
A=0.5 - normalised to between 0.1 (Quasimodo) and 0.9 (Adonis). 0.5 equates to not frightening anyone with your visage.
P=0.5 - normalised to between 0.1 (accountant) and 0.8 (life and soul of the party). 0.5 equates to a person who doesn't train spot as a hobby.
L=0.4 - normalised to between 0.0 (agoraphobic) and 0.8 (party animal). 0.4 equates to a person who socialises normally.

Solving for N, the number of available women to this average Joe, gives about 300. An even worse return than for the ladies from a large enough city. However, you too can improve your odds. Try moving to Tokyo or Mexico City, reading a joke book, having plastic surgery, selling your TV and/or robbing a bank!


**As before, based on the Drake equation used to estimate the number of detectable extraterrestrial civilizations in our Milky Way galaxy!

The probability of finding available men

The above graphic shows the Reilly equation** for calculating the number of men that are available to you, the single (or cheating!) woman. It takes important factors such as the population density of where you live, your personal characteristics and your stamina for playing the field into consideration.

Typical approximate values for the terms in the equation are:

R*=3,350,000,000 - half the world's population.
fa=0.0000149 - assuming you live in a city of 100,000 people, half of whom are male.
fo=0.40 - discount the too young, the too old, the odd faithful man etc.
fb= 1 - normalised to between 0.0 (all dead) and 1.0 (all alive).
S= 0.6 - normalised to between 0.1 (fried eggs) and 0.9 (Lolo Ferrari). 0.6 equates to what our American brethren call a nice rack.
B=0.5 - normalised to between 0.2 (Ginger Rogers) and 0.8 (Marilyn Monroe).
H=0.5 - normalised to between 0.1 (babe, the pig) and 0.8 (hot babe). 0.5 equates to an attractive gal.
D=0.6 - normalised to between 0.2 (nun) and 0.9 (slut). 0.6 equates to a person tasteful, but alluring.
L=0.4 - normalised to between 0.0 (agoraphobic) and 0.8 (party animal). 0.4 equates to a person who socialises normally.

Solving for N, the number of available men to this average Jane, gives about 720. Not a great return from a largish city. Time to improve your man pool by moving to Tokyo or Mexico City, having plastic surgery, dyeing your hair, selling the TV and/or showing more cleavage!

Note: Negligible factors for men when they are out on the prowl, such as personality, are excluded from the equation.

**Based on the Drake equation used to estimate the number of detectable extraterrestrial civilizations in our Milky Way galaxy!

It all started when I was a child....

If you grew up in the perfect family with the perfect parents who loved you unconditionally and encouraged you in everything that you did, chances are that you will be confident in your adult life. However, if you didn't grow up on Walton's mountain, you probably won't be quite as sure of yourself as you would like.

From a dating point of view, if, for example, you were a geek growing up, suffered from acne or were chubby, chances are that you will never have high self-confidence when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex. As the graph above shows, the more severe your problems were, the less confident you will be as an adult.

Even if you lose the glasses and/or the weight and now have the complexion of a supermodel, the scars from your formative years will probably continue to haunt you throughout your life. Maybe counselling is the answer - if Tony Soprano can do it, then so can you! Alternatively, you could stew in your own morass - that's worked well so far, hasn't it?!

Approaching good looking women

The graph above shows that the better looking a woman is, the harder it is to score with her. Occasionally, you hear stories about beautiful women frightening so many men off that they are actually easier to score with, but I'd like the Mythbusters team to investigate that one! Most men will know from bitter experience what happens when they approach someone out of their league!

The problem is that the number of times a woman is hit on in a pub/club (or indeed on the Internet when a picture is supplied) is directly proportional to her looks, that is to say:

F(H) ∝ B

where

H = the frequency with which a woman gets hit on
B = how beautiful she is

So, while a plain Jane or a fat lass might be so delighted with some rare male attention that she laps up your patter (no matter how pathetic!), a good looking woman has heard it ALL before. So, unless you look like Brad Pitt's younger brother, you're going to have to change tack for success with a hottie.

Not that I can give advice on this matter, but I would imagine that an unorthodox approach would be more likely to bear fruit. Possible plans of attack include using humour to pretend that you are hot (when you are obviously not) or pretend that she is not hot (when she obviously is). Then again, going up and saying hello might work just as well (see above!). It's hard to know with that lot!

Go ugly early

The "go ugly early" strategy is another approach used by unscrupulous men in a nightclub. Some men realise that they are not going to score with a hot chick, so they might as well go for more aesthetically challenged woman in the first place. This has a number of advantages:

1. It is not as obvious as the "10 to 2" method of starting at the top and working your way down. This can torpedo your chances with many women who feel that you are only talking to them because you couldn't do any better (which is true!). By hitting on them early however, they are more likely to think that you actually like them, so your chances of success will be higher.
2. It allows you to select what could be described as the best of a bad lot. If you wait for 1.50am, you'll have to make do with what's left over at that stage. By making approaches earlier, you have your pick of the chicks at this level.
3. You have time to lower her inhibitions by getting her drunk. This will increase your chances of scoring with her later on.
   
4. When you hit on such a woman early, you're not as drunk as you would be at 1.50am. This will increase your chances of scoring with her at the end of the night, even though at that point, you will probably have had to get as drunk as possible!
5. When the end of the night does come, she will look as good to you through your beer goggles as some of the good looking chicks who would have turned you down earlier.

This unsavoury approach is also used by guys who haven't had any action for a while and are desperate for a shag. Again, I hang my head in shame at my fellow man! I am merely a humble chronicler, not a practitioner or advocate of such activities!

Lies, damn lies and nightclubs

As the graph above shows, people tend to get economical with the truth once they have had their toes dipped in the shark infested waters of dating for a while. They might have started out all bright eyed and bushy tailed, but once the harsh reality of dating sets in, veracity starts to go out the window. This is particularly true in the den of iniquity that is the nightclub! Women soon get sick of wasting their energy on drunk guys chancing their arm or players trying to add to their collection of notches. Ordinary decent guys get tired of getting nowhere with chicks unless they have a certain social standing or drive a certain car.

So what do they do? Well, guys suddenly become BMW driving doctors or pilots (or occasionally firemen, cops, lifeguards, matadors etc. depending on the circumstances!) and women concoct lies to amuse and protect themselves from the spoofers. Before you know it, you're in a vicious circle and everyone is drowning in a sea of bullshit!

I have a personal policy of treating everything I hear in a pub or nightclub as crap until proven otherwise! I was out once with my wing commander when we met 2 ladies purporting to be sisters. One claimed to be called Marie and the other Ann-Marie! Having smelt a rat, I said that either their mother had no imagination or they were full of it! Which do you think was the case?!

The downside of being fussy

The chart above shows that the fussier you are, the longer you have to wait for a suitable partner to come along. The numbers under the bars represent your level of fussiness, e.g. 100 means you like 1 in every 100 people that you meet while 1 is the other extreme - you like everybody you meet! This model makes the following assumptions:

1. People tend to like people roughly as fussy as themselves. For example, a woman who has been more secure than Fort Knox is not likely to give up her honour to someone who'd obviously get up on a cracked plate!
2. You go out approximately twice a week (100 times per year).
3. You meet 3 people on an average night out.

Even with this generous allowance for meeting people, someone who is extremely fussy (likes only 1 out of 100 people that s/he meets) can expect to go just over 33 years* between meeting suitable partners! That's over 3300 nights out using the model above, which is a lot, even for Paris Hilton! At the other extreme, someone who likes everybody can obviously expect to meet someone they like every night they go out. These extremes are so large that I've had to use a log scale above to fit them on the same graph. This is also why, for example, 33 years doesn't look much worse than 8 years at a glance.

So, it is not hard to see the main problem with being fussy and why practitioners are more likely to end up as lonely, cantankerous old fogeys! Wouldn't you end up that way if you waited so long for that someone (really) special that never came?!!


*From the assumptions, (100x100)/100/3. If you like 1 in a 100 people and so does your prospective partner, you can expect (on average) to meet 10,000 people before you click with someone. The model assumes that you meet 300 people per year.

Why men use Internet dating

Men have somewhat different reasons than women (as usual) for using the Internet to get dates. A man's social circle also decreases, but at least he can always go out on a solo mission, something no sane woman would ever do! One of the biggest reasons for a man to use the Internet is that it's another great way to meet women. After all, there's no sense in putting all your eggs in one basket, is there?! As noted in the previous post, the net can be a very time and cost effective dating paradigm. A man can hit on multiple women simultaneously from the comfort of his armchair. He can have a constant pipeline of women he has just hit on, women he is talking to, women he is manoeuvring into meeting and women he has actually met! This kind of conveyor belt is much harder to maintain in "real life", especially in a small town!

As mentioned in the original post on Internet dating, the net offers big advantages for the weak of heart and the twisted of spirit! In the pub/club environment, it is the man that usually makes the moves. However, should he lack confidence and fear rejection more than life itself, these moves will never be made. The Internet is a Godsend for such men. The disassociation available behind the keyboard frees the man to unleash his inner stud! Of course, his old problems will re-surface when he actually meets someone, but hey, at least he's now meeting a few women. This will boost his confidence and improve his performance as he perseveres. Unfortunately, the anonymity available on the Internet can also free a man's inner perv, allowing him to be as vulgar and crass as he desires. Finally, there's the odd saddo (pun intended!) knocking about who can use the Internet to disguise that fact until he has got a foot in the door!