What guys think they are good at

There are certain things that guys think that they do well. The most important of these things are displayed in the chart above. There is some correlation with the things men like to control, but this is to be expected. After all, why would you want to take the reins at some endeavour if you thought you were no good at it?

A lot of blokes think they can fix anything around the house, be it electrical, mechanical, electronic or structural. Usually they end up making things much worse and when an expert is finally called in, he has to be paid to undo their 'fixes' also! Give a guy a large fork and a barbecue and suddenly he thinks he's Gordon Ramsey, even if he usually turns out to be an ambassador for botulism!

I have never met a guy who thinks he can't play poker well. Even if he is complete pants and is easier to read than the alphabet, it's always Lady Luck's fault when he fails at the table! Consequently, we all think we could make a living as a professional poker player. Mind you, travelling the world playing cards, winning huge wads of cash, sleeping in late and impressing the ladies with our sharp play - what's not to like? Hell, I might give it a shot myself!

As alluded to in a previous post, men always think they can find their way anywhere. All they need is their trusty map and they can find anywhere. Even if the map is years out of date and/or partially missing. Like when fixing stuff, instead of seeking help early, they use their "special abilities" and usually end up getting even more hopelessly lost! Behind the wheel of a car, every guy is Michael Schumacher, without the chin and the cash! When we look at a Formula 1 race, we think that we could do that, if we were as poxy as those guys who got the chance! Every man thinks he drives smoothly, gracefully and safely, no matter how maniacal he may be in the cockpit!

However, of all the things that men think they do well, pleasing the ladies must be number one! Between the sheets, we're all Casanovas who can induce ecstasy in our partner at will. We know what buttons to press and when. We are a potent combination of porn star and Dr. Kinsey! The reality is somewhat different, as you ladies will attest. Mind you, you're only helping to perpetuate this particular myth every time you do a "Sally"!!!!

Is your girlfriend a lesbian?

Have you ever noticed your girlfriend checking out another chick? Cool, eh? Well, maybe not if she exhibits too many of the characteristics listed in the diagram above. As in the previous companion post, it's time to start getting worried/excited if there are multiple bells ringing for you now! You may dream of that kinky threesome, but even if that unlikely scenario came to pass, you can expect to be frozen out of the equation. If the two women had any tendencies in that direction, who do you think they would focus on - you or the other woman?

The dynamic between straight men and gay women is very different from that between straight women and gay men. Men do not hang out with butch lesbians for a start. They would be afraid that they'd be challenged to an arm wrestle....and lose. Besides, there's ultimately nothing in it for the man as she is not "butter side up"*! In addition, a lot of butch lesbians hate men, which to be honest, doesn't bother us guys a whole lot!

Another difference is that while a lot of women think that what gay guys get up to is, err, not pleasant, the concept of lesbianism is very exciting for most guys! Hence male porn is full of hot chicks getting it on together (I hear!), while female porn (if there is such a thing) probably has guys in aprons doing the housework while listening intently to your problems!


* a euphemism for straight, from the cult comedy Red Dwarf!