Monday 5 November 2007

Mind mapping - male

Pseudoscience of love - Mind mapping: male
I know us guys aren't perfect, but at least we're far more straightforward in this respect than our female counterparts. We generally keep things simple by saying what we mean! This is illustrated in the diagram above.

Thus, refreshingly, "yes" means "yes" when asked a question by a woman that involves some sort of sexual activity. And the answer will usually be "yes", as we are only big bags of testosterone after all. Occasionally, if you're strong willed and want to tease or in the lucky situation of being in a short inter-orgasmic period, you might play for time with a "maybe" answer. If the answer is "no", call the doctor because something serious must be wrong with him!

Mind Mapping - Female

Pseudo-Science of Love - Mind mapping: female
Yes, chaps, it's the dreaded "does that no really mean no?" quandary. You've asked your beloved a delicate question, but unfortunately you're none the wiser after her answer. As the chart above shows, her answer could mean just about anything! It is still good manners to ask though, regardless of the confusion that will ensue.

If she said "no" to, say, your polite request of nookie, does this mean "not even when hell freezes over" or "not now, but ask me again in 5 minutes and we'll see"? If she replied "maybe", does this mean she's buying time to safeguard her virtue and with a little more spadework you'll be in there? Or, is it to let you down easier in the not too distance future? Even "yes" answers aren't safe, especially if you've been silly enough to ask a negative question. Sometimes, there's a statute of limitations on "yes" answers you make the mistake of thinking that one little "yes" is a carte blanche thereafter. So guys, best not to assume anything! I think the great man himself, Meatloaf, warbled it best in his song Where the rubber meets the road - "Yes means no means yes means no".

This uncertainty is one of the main reasons men use persistence when chasing women. Every man has had a woman flip on him at some stage, with a "no" magically transforming in to a "yes" and many pleasurable shenanigans ensuing. This is why when a guy comes up against a real "no", the women is often perplexed by his continued dedication to the case. Well, you only have yourselves to blame, I'm afraid!