Making moves online

After the last few posts, you have probably copped that the secret to success in any facet of online dating is to be funny and/or original. So, it should come as no surprise then that the same applies when a man throws shapes on a woman online. As in most of these Internet posts, the following advice is mostly for the men folk. Women can say anything at all to instigate a conversation and be practically guaranteed at least one reply! After all, what man is going to look a gift horse in the mouth?!

The graph above shows the chances of success when private messaging a woman in an online chat room. The perv approach will usually just get you ignored (but like any direct approach, if you try it enough times…!). A more medium level opening gambit is something like "Hi there" or the ubiquitous (i.e. totally unoriginal) "A/S/L". This stands for "Age/Sex/Location" and I usually reply 3x/yes please/here (depending on year!) if so prompted! This sort of unimaginative approach often gets a reply, simply because it beats the pervy approach taken by so many other guys! However, women generally get hit on left, right and centre in a chat room so your effort isn't exactly going to stand out now, is it?

A much better approach is to make a witty comment based on her name or something in her profile. This is more likely to get her smiling and thus more likely to respond. Some possible examples are:

• MaidMarion: Do I get brownie points for looking good in tights?!
• May_Contain_Nuts: I hope that doesn't mean you were once a man?!
• Goldielocks:You're not going to try and sneak into my bed, are you? Follow up with "damn!" when she assures you that she isn't.
• HalfPint1972: Have you considered going metric? How does"284ml1972" grab ya?!
• Serendipity: Loved the film (Serendipity)! I'm going into [insert local book shop name] to write my phone no. on the jacket of a book. If you find it, I'm definitely the man for you!!!!!
• Peacock_Hen: Hey, I've always wanted to meet a nice bird!

Alternatively, you can hook them with an unusual question to start a conversation:

• Hornybird: Try "Is it on your nose or the top of your head?!" Follow up with "the horn", when she goes "eh?".
  
• Ice_Cream01: You must really hate the summer! Follow up with "because you're in real danger of melting!" when she asks why!
  
• Startmeup: What type of ignition system do you use?
  

Similar logic can be applied to responding to dating site profiles. As noted in the original post on Internet dating, this is somewhat easier than chat room approaches as it is usually not in real time! It is very important to read the person's profile carefully, looking for a hook to use in an introductory message. Some women assume that you have contacted them as part of a wide trawl. Let's face it, they are probably right! Therefore, it is important to tailor every message to the target individual as cut and paste mails will largely go ignored! Sometimes, it maybe their name, sometimes a similar hobby or favourite band/singer, but make sure you have something before you mail them.

You can't really lose using an approach like this. If they have a good sense of humour (as they always claim!), they will reply and you're off and running. If they don't answer, you don't waste any time on a dry shite!!!