Take it to the next level!

A relationship typically is comprised of various distinct stages or levels. These levels, shown in the diagram above, are:

• The point of zero energy/effort (along the time axis) is when you are footloose and fancy free.
• The first level proper is reached when you first lock eyes across a crowded room, time slows down, your world stands still, your heart beats faster etc. etc.
• The nerve wracking first date - Someone made the first move and set up that romantic first date. It will be the most perfect of dates, talked about for the rest of your lives. Perhaps even written about for generations! No pressure!
  
• The crucial 2nd date - keep it going now. You've both decided that there could be something here. Plain sailing from here, surely?!
• Don't call me Shirley and now it's on to date number three. According to US TV shows, this is when you should seal the deal these days! You may want to draw it out a bit (as discussed here) to maximum your chances though, ladies.
  
• If you've met over three times, you're going out. Now the hard work really begins.
• All going well, you fall in love. Bless!
• Next up is talking about making a future together.
  
• Congrats - you've made that future happen. All together now, "Here comes the bride....".
  

If a couple put sufficient energy into their relationship at their current level, they will jump naturally to the next level. Sometimes couples will consciously decide to "take it to the next level" as this emphasises their growing devotion to each other. Many relationships stagnate at a particular level, usually because of commitment issues with the man! In a successful relationship however, the couple eventually reach the top level. At this point, both have invested a lot of time and energy in getting there.

Unfortunately, it can all go horribly wrong at any stage in a relationship. Just because you reach the top level for example, doesn't mean that you are home and hosed. If a relationship breaks up, all the stored energy is released, usually in an explosive mix of anger, acrimony and bitterness, all tinged with sadness. This is a direct result of the 2nd law of thermodynamics - energy is never created or destroyed, only changed from one form to another!

This is shown in the diagram above only for a break-up while at the top level (for reasons of clarity). The line D represents a divorce or irrevocable separation, where the parties are returned to singledom, accompanied by the aforementioned emotional fallout. In this case, the energy release will be potentially huge as it is proportional to the length of time they have been together.