Nice wheels

While I'm on the subject of men and their cars, here is another correlation that I've heard about on occasion. Apparently, some women judge how a man might look after them by the condition that he keeps his car in. The thinking here is probably that it is a measure of how he looks after things dear to him. This is bad news for guys who use their car as a mobile tip or to grow spuds in the footwells! Indeed, it's not great either for guys who are a touch anal about keeping the motor in pristine condition (guilty!). This may indicate a hard to please perfectionist or, worse, a psychotic control freak. However, I like to this of it as having respect for yourself and others!

This correlation, shown in the graph above, has ramifications for single male non-drinkers and designated drinkers everywhere. These individuals occasionally get to offer one or more women a lift from the pub to the nightclub or (if he's lucky) from the pub/club to her/their place of residence. Indeed, the latter is the one trump card that the sober guy has when he's out attempting to carouse. This is especially true in climates where it rains a lot, e.g. SE Asia in the rainy season or the West of Ireland all year round!). In wet conditions, looking for taxis is very unpleasant and they are harder to come by. Che-ching - shake those car keys!!!

So get those vacuum cleaners out, guys - it's time to dig up those spuds. You wouldn't want a manky automobile to scupper your chances at the eleventh hour, now would you?! Just don't overdo it - I will try to get my rulebook for what's not allowed (e.g. no eating, drinking, puking, smoking or farting) in my vehicle down to one volume!